Step into Mill Dam–specifically the Haynes family's world, where basketball games with a makeshift hoop and a home that was a haven for kids reveal a profound tale of communal care. When trying to build a village, does nostalgia move us forward or hold us back?
Step into Mill Dam–specifically the Haynes family's world, where basketball games with a makeshift hoop and a home that was a haven for kids reveal a profound tale of communal care. When trying to build a village, does nostalgia move us forward or hold us back?
90s Music-neighborhood feel
Nichole Hill: In Virginia Beach, Great Neck is commonly thought of as a white area, but that assumption ignores an enclave established by Black families who forged their own safe space. The community is called Mill Dam–and it’s over by the Great Neck Area Library.
When I first heard this audio, I recognized the voice of my PE teacher at Alanton Elementary School–
Phyliss Haynes: Hi, I’m Phyllis Haynes–
Nichole Hill: She will always be Mrs. Haynes to me. Growing up, she made sure we were having so much fun AND behaving ourselves! I had no idea that this extended beyond gym class.
Phyliss Haynes: A lot of the kids centered around our house. Lot of playing and stuff was going on. Um, they would also meet across the street, right on, on the corner of Shoveller and Mill Dam.
And they knew to come in the house when the lights go out. So it was time. So we didn't really had to go and call 'em, so everybody was headed home or whatever.
Nichole Hill: Mrs. Haynes was the secretary of the Mill Dam community’s Civic League and her husband was the President. But their son Paul grew up with no real idea of the extent of his parent’s civic service. To him they were just mom and dad who kept him in a community where he was surrounded by family.
Paul Haynes: I guess Mill Dam Road is a little over a mile long. So at least three quarters of a mile of that road was all family. So from our family home in either direction we can go and we would always have family there to keep us in line or to play with or know that we just enjoyed. And that was the center of the community, uh, was family.
Nichole Hill: Paul said that there was so much family around that when he got older and wanted to date someone, he would first need to make sure they weren’t related to him! When the streets were finally paved in the early 90’s, the community named one of them “Family Way”.
Sound of kids playing
Paul Haynes: We would just use our imagination to make up our own little games and have our own little spats and do things that kids do, king of the hill, or hide and seek, or kickball, or football.
One of the best times I can remember is when we finally got a basketball hoop.
Sound b-ball, defense offense sound
Paul Haynes: So my dad, he originally, um, put up a milk crate. He nailed it to the tree and we were trying to play basketball and put a circular ball into a square box. It worked. I mean we made it work.
Nichole Hill: Paul’s father, John Haynes solved problems that extended beyond his own front yard.
Paul Haynes: I knew that my father was the president of the Civic League. But of course, being a kid, I didn't understand how important that was at the time. Um, but he was just a leader in the church, uh, in the community. Wherever he went. Nobody was a stranger. So he talked with everybody, counseled a lot of people.
Just to see him lead in that way, I think that kind of rubbed off on me.
Sound of 90’s vibe music
Phyliss Haynes: Our home at one point was, through the school, Alanton, was noticed as a safe home, you know, because, I think back in the nineties, you know, they was trying to find places for safe houses for the kids to come and meet or spend the night or whatever.
So our home was one of those homes.
MUSIC ENDS
The reason that the, community decided that we needed one is because, you know, kids was being missing and, different things was going on. Back then there was a lot of latchkey kids, so they, was trying to make it safe for kids to have somewhere to stay until the parents got home. Or just come and, you know, just come and play. Do your homework, whatever. So that's why it was important for them to have a safe house. And I think one of the things with me why it was so important–kids with all this time on their hands was getting in trouble and knowing that when parents was home, it made a difference.
Paul Haynes: That's, that's kind of new to me. I, I didn't know if we were an actual safe house. I just thought that all the kids like coming to the house, (laughter) but we, um, you know, you kind of feel like the, the popular house in the neighborhood.
Nichole Hill: A common thread that we heard in each historically Black community were fond memories of when friends, family, and neighbors took care of each other. Paul’s parents understood the art of “villaging”.
Paul Haynes: What kind of rubbed off on all the boys in a sense, his sons, It wasn't just talk, it was action as well. I think that's in all of the kids now.
Phyliss Haynes: I love our community. I really do, even though everybody think we stay too far, but I love our community, so yeah.
Paul Haynes: Back then, it was an all black community. But the demographics changed, when I was a little boy, we started seeing more caucasian families coming into the community and getting the houses–the land being sold off by some of our family members, that just wanting to move out of the neighborhood. So they would sell the land for pennies on $1. And then they will rebuild these massive homes to where if they decided they want to move back, they couldn't because they couldn't afford it.
Phyliss Haynes: They bought that property in the 90s. And they haven't done anything, you know, with it. But I think what they are doing is waiting until we sell. Yeah. And yeah, and they gotta wait 100 years.
Paul Haynes: We're never selling. So that is the process I'm in now, trying to reclaim that land. Because it is sentimental, not only just to my family, but it's kind of a personal battle for me, because that's, that's my heritage.
Phyliss Haynes: For me, I think it’s still a nice neighborhood. I don’t know my neighbors now, because they don’t come out and talk. But that was one of the things that was good back then was that we all knew each other. We got together and talked about things that was going on in the neighborhood, and right now we don’t know what’s going on in the neighborhood, because we don’t know each other.
Paul Haynes: Communities used to have a Big Mama. That's where everybody met, and that's kind of what our house felt like. It felt like it was Big Mama's house where everybody gathered and everybody came.
You know, if you were hungry, you got fed. If you wanted to spend the night, it got questioned. But, you could possibly, you know, spend the night or you can just come there and just hang out and just have a sense of freedom.
90's music with kids playing in the background
Nichole Hill: Paul wants to get back to the community he grew up in. Is it possible for a modern diverse neighborhood to hold that same sense of freedom that he is after? Or are we in a perpetual search for nostalgia?
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This series was written by Jackie Glass and Hannah Sobol, edited and hosted by me, Nichole Hill, Sound Design by Trendel Lightburn, and our work has been supported by the Virginia African American Cultural Center through a grant from Virginia Tourism Corporation. Follow our work by subscribing wherever you get your podcasts. We couldn’t do this without people brave enough to share their experiences, so thank you Mrs. Phyllis and Mr. Paul Haynes!